One of my favorite TV shows when I was a kid was Daniel Boone starring Fes Parker. I realize that it was not very historically accurate and would not be considered very politically correct today but I religiously parked myself in front of the set to follow the adventures of Daniel and his friend and companion, Mingo. In the opening credits, Boone would be walking through the forest or beside a stream and then the theme song would fade in:
Daniel Boone was a man. Yes a big man.With an eye like an eagle and as tall as a mountain was he…
And then came my absolute favorite part..
Daniel Boone was a man Yes a big man
He was brave he was fearless and as tough as a mighty oak tree…
With that Fes would throw his hatchet and split a tree right down the middle. This was way before CGI and the amazing special effects like we have now but to my pre-teen mind, it was pretty cool. I always thought it would be the ultimate to be able to split wood like that. As hard as I tried, I was never even able split a tree in half with one swing even holding onto an axe much less throwing one.
Now you might be wondering what brought about this stroll down memory lane to a show that my kids probably have trouble believing that I ever bothered watching. Well this weekend, I experienced an activity that made me feel like I was right there with old Daniel and Mingo. This week is my daughter’s birthday but I’m on call this weekend so on Saturday I suggested doing something that she has been wanting to do for quite a while. We’ve been seeing this activity advertised but between all the covid restrictions and the cost, I’ve been finding plenty of excuses to not take advantage of opportunities. Since it was for her birthday and there was a 50% off deal, we took the plunge. That’s right, we went axe throwing. I could picture it all in my mind. The axe would spin in slow motion and the target would split. I’d have to apologize as they replaced the target. Since both my daughter and my wife stuck their axes on their first couple of throws, I knew that I would be a natural. I would be able to reach way back and draw on my inner Daniel Boone. I was so sure I tried a one arm throw first. The axe flew straight and true right to the spot I intended, more or less, but much to my chagrin it dropped to the floor with a thud. My inner Boone had some how failed me. I switched to a two handed technique with no better results. Now if you ask my wife and daughter, they will say that it took 30 or more throws before I got an axe to stick. I think it was more like about 10 or 12. I couldn’t have split a tree but I might have been able to knock one down with my repeated blows or at least beat it into submission. I could feel Daniel and Mingo hanging their heads in shame. Sensing my frustration and fearing I might hack the target to pieces in anger, one of the attendants offered a heavier dual headed axe. Finally, a man sized axe befitting my adulation of Fes Parker. As I took this new weapon in my hands, the skies opened up and I could hear the Daniel Boone theme ringing in my ears. I could feel the strength of Daniel Boone coursing through my arms as the axe flew straight and true. My scream of triumph froze everyone in the facility making them wonder who was having gall bladder surgery without anesthesia. With my manhood restored, I ended the afternoon on a high note sticking the axe 80 to 85% of the time with pretty decent accuracy. I had difficulty believing that they didn’t offer me the target to take home or at least a Daniel Boone coonskin cap for my accomplishment but such was not the case. It could be my over developed imagination but I have noticed that trees have begun to quake in my presence though. I guess they know a Daniel Boone when they see one.
Psalm 74:5-6
5 It was like men in a thicket of trees,
wielding axes,
6 then smashing all the carvings
with hatchets and picks.